Today's Blog - the fish bowl

the fish bowl

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." -Leo Tolstoy

     Isn't that the truth?  No one really wants to even think of personal change. Changing those around them seems like a much more feasible idea.  Why is this?  Do we as individuals get so self-conscious of ourselves that we fear  changing what we have already become even if we are not happy with who we are?  Gah, I have been one of those people who think this way, and it frustrated me to no end now.  
     Falling into this cycle is no good.  If things are to change on any level, there needs to be change on a small scale first.  People say college is where people go to discover themselves, shape who they are to become.  Until my senior year, I wasn't too sure about this idea, but now it has really come into focus for me.  Once I graduate (hopefully in December), I will be certified to teach.  I definitely need to know who I am, what I believe, what my interests are by that time.  
     This spring semester, though I am only half-way into it, has been a beautiful challenge in several ways.  The best part is that I am able to move through these challenges thanks to lessons learned from past challenges. They are finally paying off: the stress, heartbreak, and sleepless nights.  All these things seemed so awful or out of place at the time, but they were really planted lessons for me to later cultivate. 
     Now that I have these lessons collected and in my storehouse, I need to apply them.  How do I more on from here?  What direction should I set for my future?  These questions and many more are all being answered in an ongoing effort right now.  Feel free to offer up some hints as I progress. Still, I need to understand and decide how I am to change myself before I can ever begin to make an impact on the world as a teacher or even just as a normal, everyday citizen of Earth.  I need to find my place.  Somewhere in which I actually fit, not where I try to fit.  If that requires as much as a drastic shift in my career orientation or as little as a hair cut, then it will be worth it.  

Leave a Reply.