the fish bowl

I realize that it has been 2011 for a little more than 2 months already, so don't call me out on it.  Until now, it hadn't really sunk in all too well.  Yes, I was aware of the calendar change, but it took a while for the full implications of the year to manifest themselves for me.  I graduate in 9 months (hopefully), I will be student teaching, I may be getting a job in Jackson, I may not go back to Illinois, I am starting to think differently from how I always have, my thesis has officially been started (almost 3 pages in so far), I try to keep a notebook nearby to write random ideas or whims which come to mind (I do occasionally have to settle for my hand), the future freaks me out more than usual... crap, so much.  
     Life is changing almost daily in some fashion.  Just because it changes doesn't mean that I can't recognize my life from week to week, but it is enough to be noticeable over time.  As much as things may become nerve-racking for me, I am beginning to embrace change the more I acknowledge it.  By no means am I allowing myself to be blown across the ground with every slight breeze that passes, nor am I trying to fight against the hurricanes of change in life out of ignorant stubbornness.  Finally, I am embracing my curiosity in life.  If something interests me, I will look into it.  Maybe I will be judged for it by some, maybe I will be embraced by others for the same thing.  Am I to determine the opinions of others in relation to me? By no means, and I do not care to try to do so at all.  I realize some movies I have watched already would not be deemed "Union appropriate" by many, but most are beautiful and imaginative.  I refuse to give up such things just because it is rated "R" for language or that there are references to drugs.  Sooner or later, the bubble will pop and some will fall violently to their awakening in life.     
     In that train of thought, I shall depart for now.  Burrito Meal calls me.  Until then...

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