the fish bowl

 
     Looking back at my last blog post, just over a month ago, I am surprised by how much that situation has changed.  The girl, who I though I had let slip away, is now my girlfriend, and I couldn't be happier with how the situation turned out.  
     I forced myself to resist altering that post or putting up a new one to convey the change because I wanted to remind myself how close I came to loosing her and how I won't take her for granted again.  As I have said, she is incredibly special to me, and I would give up so much for her.
     At this moment, I have roughly 4 days until I get to see her again.  Time cannot cooperate like I want it to.  I want the next few days to rush by so that I may be able to hold her in my arms as soon as I possibly can, but I also want time to slow to a crawl while she is in my embrace.  Time won't cooperate.  Which is why I have learned, partly with her help, to make the best of what time I do have, whether that be with her or even the time I have left in college.  Enjoy life and do what makes you happy.  My girlfriend and I have an ever-growing list of fun activities to do together this summer; right now, I believe, we have 35 items on the list.  While it does make me long for what is to come, I realize that every moment is short and has its highlights.  Why can't I enjoy every second?  I honestly don't know why I don't always, but I am trying to change that.  She is teaching me to enjoy every bit of life, even the waiting aspect of it.  In the process, I am becoming more thankful for the rough spots that help me become an individual.  
     This summer I will be returning home to once more work at the beloved Polar Whip, but I feel this summer will be much different and much better than that of last year.  Maybe it is the list, maybe it is my awesome girlfriend, maybe I am finally enjoying life. 

     
 
     Today has been quite the interesting day.  My mind felt like a boat caught in a storm at some points, but, overall, it wasn't too bad of a day at all.  Believe it or not, I am a little ahead on homework for the week.  As I write this, I can't help but laugh inside a little because I am listening to a short story podcast.  It's actually an ironic story for me today; ask me and I will tell you why.  Story podcast aside, reading has been on my mind quite a bit today for some reason.
     Lately, I have found myself longing to be able to read as fast as I did when I was younger.  My reading speed has diminished since starting college and becoming an English major.  Maybe this is my inner procrastinator rebelling against reading assignments in general, or perhaps I am just getting older.  I get the feeling both may be true to a certain extent.  Class reading has consumed my reading appetite as well as scared the fun out of reading for myself to an extent.  I cannot pick up a book with the same zeal I had in high school.  I am less focused.  Getting older and having to be responsible sucks for having fun in any way really.
     Despite not being able to read quite so rapidly, my book buying has steadily grown.  Amazon and other online used books sellers as well as the hole-in-the-wall used bookstores in Jackson or Southern Illinois have become some of my favorite things.  I get lost in trying to find a specific book or the lowest price, time seemingly disappears before I snap out of it.  I cannot help myself.  When I get a book in my mind, I buy it or find it through a friend.  Years may pass before I get the opportunity to read it, but I have it when the time comes.  The idea of my library expanding and becoming more reputable excites me possibly more than it should.  
     Now, I must get back to my own attempt at pleasure reading before my mind looses all energy.  Happy reading.